Hello,

I cant believe I am doing this, opening up to strangers especially anyone in the medical field is a first. But here goes nothing!.....

I am 34 years old and have finally found the love of my life and my best friend for what Im hoping is a life time! I have always found the crappy relationships (abusive, cheating, mentally challenging), A few I tried to make more just in fear that my ex husband of 13 years was right when he said " You are overweight, a single mom with two teenage boys, that cant have kids...do you really think anyone is going to want you"

When I entered this relationship, it didn't take me long to realize that I never really felt true love like this. He is 39 with two kids as well and he even has a DAUGHTER! This isn't just love with him, WE have a real family. I love his kids as if they were my own and for the most part we get along great. My boys love him more then I ever thought they would and already have the sibling bond with the kids. We truly are blessed!

We connected very quickly and we realized we had so much in common including past heartbreak. ALL of my ex's other then him and one other cheated on me, and his ex wife cheated off and on over their 21 year marriage. So in all honesty we felt each others fears and concerns from the get go. Which seems to help when one of us felt threatened (due to past experiences). Neither of us want to take the past out on each other but sometimes demons haunt us.

Well there's a little about us... now comes what I/We need help with. I Love him with all of my heart and soul and I have no doubts that he also loves me. But we've lived together as a "Brady Bunch" family for about 6 months now... were engaged and we still catch each other staring at each other with a smile for no reason. (just not as often). However, we argue ALMOST daily... I feel that I am mostly to blame for the argument (I don't swallow my feelings as well as I should). I hate fighting with him and I just really want what we had at the beginning back (MY BEST FRIEND). I want us to stop intentionally hurting one another, and I don't want to cry any more. I want to break the feeling of routine... I want to go back to feeling needed and wanted and not be taken for granted. And I want the sex back!! Hes 39 not 59. He constantly tells me that I am beautiful... I wish he would show me, I want him to want me as he did in the beginning and as I want him EVERY day! Just as I know that I need to not get mad as easily as I do . And I also know that a antidepressant may also be needed....

but as of now I guess what Im asking for is any advice, I love him and know that he feels the same. We just need help expressing it... neither of us want to lose what we have together.

PLEASE HELP!