(((rain))) I'm not sure I understand the difference in whether you email and then talk about something; or bring it into the session and talk about it there? either way ... your T and the things you were experiencing and wrote about the other day were still going to be on your mind

I'm sorry you are in such a hard place now with all of this ... that sense of the old cliche of being between a rock and a hard place comes to mind. I know you really want things to change but making those changes is difficult -- and then you also want your T to be the comforting, caring, friendly relationship as well and that seems to be unattainable ... and you are stuck in the middle and keep being pulled apart.

I don't think you wasted the session, although I can understand it feeling that way ... maybe it feels wasted though because you didn't get an outcome out of it that would have felt a lot nicer?