Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
You're headed in the right direction. Things will get better.
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Thank you. I sure hope you're right!
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl
(((rain))) I'm not sure I understand the difference in whether you email and then talk about something; or bring it into the session and talk about it there? either way ... your T and the things you were experiencing and wrote about the other day were still going to be on your mind 
I'm sorry you are in such a hard place now with all of this ... that sense of the old cliche of being between a rock and a hard place comes to mind. I know you really want things to change but making those changes is difficult -- and then you also want your T to be the comforting, caring, friendly relationship as well and that seems to be unattainable ... and you are stuck in the middle and keep being pulled apart.
I don't think you wasted the session, although I can understand it feeling that way ... maybe it feels wasted though because you didn't get an outcome out of it that would have felt a lot nicer?  |
Thank you, tigergirl. I'm not sure I know the difference either. I used to want my T to know my feelings before the next session. She never asked me about what I emailed, so often it never got talked about unless I brought it up. I haven't emailed her except for these two times that she or I HAD to correspond about scheduling. I wasn't strong enough to stop myself. I haven't emailed any other time since we made the rule.
Maybe it wasn't so much about the lack of connection, but about the issues. All difficult ones: my H, the house, my grandson's surgery, fears, separation, giving up what I liked with my T. All of that plus my feeling of not being connected to her. Why do you think the session wasn't wasted? I only did SE for a few minutes, though I answered T's questions about what I felt inside my body when she asked.
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Originally Posted by 1stepatatime
Hey, Rainbow
I could be way off with this but I'm going to put it out there.... after reading your post I was thinking that maybe this is you transitioning, preparing for therapy with your T to be over. It feels to me like you are separating yourself from your T little by little. Sometimes it doesn't feel so good and causes some inner turmoil for you....but you always seem to recognize all of the good things about your T. I dunno...these are my thoughts. I wish you all the best and continued growth and much happiness. |
Thanks, 1step. You know that I'm planning to terminate therapy by December or possibly March, don't you? So, you're right. I'm preparing for it now, and I don't like it. I don't want to separate but I have to, for a few reasons. Inability to separate has been my main issue, so I suppose my turmoil is to be expected.