I totally agree with Vossie42. Everything he said is correct. Almost everything you described can be symptoms of depression. It's tricky because your mind will use logic to prove that you are worthless. This is a disease. Please read some of the information at the top of this forum so you can identify the feelings you have that are related to depression. You see, those bad thoughts and feelings are not the truth. They can be caused by a genetic susceptibility to depression. I was astonished when my pdoc explained that the symptoms I believed to be the truth about me turned out to just be symptoms! That in itself was helpful for me to get in control a bit. I still need medication and there's nothing wrong with that. Other diseases need medication to. If you can get to talk to a therapist then do that also. It will help you clear your mind and sort out your feelings.
Please see someone soon and continue to post here and let us know how you are doing.
I hope you feel better soon You can feel better with help.