Thanks Fuzzy and Boopers, I really needed someone to tell me I wasn't overeacting about how much they hurt me, you both really helped me.

I still feel angry. At them yeah but also at myself, I wish I could have said f**k you, you have no idea. I didn't though because I don't. I let people walk all over me and then hate myself for letting them

I want to post here more but I kind of feel like why would anyone want to hear what I have to say. Also I'm tired a lot cause I work long hours but don't really sleep well because I can't so I lack motivation to even turn on the PC, maybe I'm just lazy, maybe its the depression.

I just SO don't want to be like this anymore, I know in my heart I should go to my dr's and start taking medication again but I'm just so afraid of his reaction because I stopped taking them before without his permission...I just never went back. Bad I know but I felt better and thought I knew best

I just don't know where to start, my family and friends don't want to hear about it so I rant here, sorry