I can't think of any simple way to descride it, but here's a comparison.

When we first met, it was like nothing in the world could keep us apart. Every part of our life was wonderful, even though there were several stressful situations we had to deal with. I live in Japan, but I am not Japanese. She is, but speaks perfect English. We would enjoy days out together, she would laugh, we would never fight except for a little quarral here and there. It was wonderful. On the down side, she had an older mother she has to take care of, and a father who has been in the hospital for 15 years due to a massive stroke.

About a year ago, I notice her change. She was more aggressive with me, she was short tempered. She always blamed it on herself saying she was unhappy with the way her life turned out. She's now 34 years old (I am 26) and she often compares herself to others her age, or even younger that have families. I want a family with her (We are engaged) but at this point we are not able to financially.

Her feelings of depression were so bad, that she saw a doctor. She receieved some SSRI and started to enjoy life a little more. Things were getting better. Then, she took herself off the SSRIs because she needed a clean record for 1 year in order to be insured under a certain health care policy. I told her it wasn't worth it...and over the last month I have see her go down dramatically. Just yesterday, we traveled about an hour by train to go to a BBQ on the beach with friends. About half way she started to cry, I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. Then, as we approached the beach, she started to get scared, and didnt want to go anymore. I convinced her it would be alright. She decided to try, but at first site of the people, she turned around and RAN away. This is the first time I have see this happen. All the way home we were both silient.

Anyway, I can't seem to convince her to get help. At the same time, its taking its toll on me. I don't know how to support her, or what to do. Sometimes I just wanna get angry at her for not doing something about her depression (like going back on the meds) But what else can I do...anyone!?????