in my last session we talked a lot about the situation about the mother. in fact my T was the one who brought it up.she never does this. but she said so i thought we might want to talk about your mother some, if it was OK with me. so we did talk some .she thinks now it might be a good idea for me to go to FL and help set up a support system for her. very different from what she has thought in the past . i don't know what to think about it at all. i guess i understand it .her reasons are sound.but in the past when i have talked about seeing the mother she has been very adamant about it not being in my best interest. when she had that reaction it kind of felt like she cared some about what i was going through .i felt taken care of some.or at least as much as i can. i don't feel good about the change .i don't think i trust it at all.

also.she asked me about my traveling and what plans i had . i told her that i was not going to go to Cancun with my BFF this year and she was curious about why. i talked very superficially about how i felt we were out of control the last time i went. i told her about how lately i have not been in a great place and sometimes it is not good to get together when she isn't in a good place .we kind of feed off each other and get in trouble. she asked more about this friend and so i told her we have been friend for 23 years and we have been through a lot. i told her about how 3 years ago her son committed suiside and just some stuff we have been through and why she might not be in the right mind. my T seemed to show so much empathy for my friend. asking if she was in T and so on . i realized that i had never seen any level of empathy from her at all in the years i have seen her .she has been kind of neutral for the most part. i figured it was just who she was or what was best for me etc... i didn't think much of it .until i saw this.she had so much empathy and concern for my friend. i know this is so selfish of me .as usual who i am .a selfish spoiled brat. i was hurt and i feel like maybe she feels i don't deserve any empathy. who knows i probably don't. but she doesn't even know my friend and she was able to show empathy . yes my friend is very deserving of it but has her own T .i want to say that this doesn't bother me and who cares that she can empathize for someone she has never met but as usual hates me. i wish i could change who i am .i really do .kind of hating who i am right now .but i guess that isn't anything new either. i know T's are human and who knows maybe she knows more about me then i think. guess i deserve what i get .i am not the easiest client to tolerate