I posted about this same girl a couple weeks ago. I was having some difficulty determining where my emotions lay with our relationship. There was another girl involved (I never cheated on the current girlfriend with the "other" girl, there was just a "connection"), but I shut out the "other girl" so I could focus on my feelings for my current girlfriend, Jane. Jane and I have been together for 3 years, and its been great. Well, mostly great. We've had our standard ups-and-downs but recently I'm very confused about whether I want to stay with her. There are times when I'm happier than anything when we're with each other. We get along great, I'm attracted to her, we share a lot of things in common. We communicate pretty well, although I have a tendency to withold my emotions and feelings from her. Not on purpose, I just have always had trouble expressing myself emotionally.

BUT there are times when I find myself feeling indifferent about our relationship. Like, is this the girl I'm supposed to marry? I never thought I would marry her when we first started dating and now we're in the 3rd year of our relationship and talking about moving in together. (Well, SHE'S talking about moving in together, I'm mostly deflecting her advances/questions about it). I'm a bit nervous about losing my independence if I moved in with her. I currently live with 3 of my good guy friends and I like having my space and ability to have "guy time." I know I'll need to "grow up" eventually but I'm bummed about losing that part of my life.

Not only this, but there are times when I simply don't want her around. For instance, this coming weekend I was invited to a music festival with two of my other friends - who are both girls. Jane and these other two girls are friends but they are more my friends than they are Jane's. Jane was not invited. Not because they don't like each other but simply because I am closer (read: friendship, nothing more) with these two girls than Jane is. I know Jane would like to be invited but I'd rather she didn't come. Music festivals are kind of my "thing" and I feel like I'd just be babysitting her the whole time and making sure she is "OK." I feel guilty knowing deep down I just don't want her there. Is that terrible of me? Or is this a normal feeling? We trust each other a lot. Would it be terrible of me to say to her "Listen, I want to go to this festival without you"? Part of me feels that I should want to do EVERYTHING with my girlfriend but there are times when I just don't, and this scares me and makes me think that if I'm thinking like this, I shouldn't be with her. Does this make any sense?

What I have realized recently is that I tend to magnify her weaknesses, and I've been trying to make an effort to minimize that. For instance, she gets a bit high strung and controlling at times, which REALLY bothers me, especially when she does it around our friends - I get embarrassed when she gets out of control, trying to organize (for instance) a dinner date with a bunch of people. She has to plan every single little thing down to the T. But, on the other hand, this makes her very well organized, which I can appreciate. She also has a great sense of humor, is able to "keep up" with me (I'm into a lot of extreme sports) and we both get along with each other's family's, which is a big plus in my book.

I digress - I suppose sometimes I just feel bored with the whole relationship-thing sometimes. I find myself looking at other girls and wondering what could be. I know this is wrong but I just can't help it. After three years, I crave that "new" relationship excitement feeling. Is this wrong of me?

I suppose what I'm asking is whether or not these feelings are normal. I've been bouncing back and forth about whether or not I want to be on my own or stay with her. I know I have a bit of a problem with commitment, I just want to be able to be confident with myself and my relationship. Thanks for listening.