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The thing is, outside contact 'feels good' for all kinds of reasons. And when something feels good, understandably, many are unlikely to limit or stop it on their own. This is where it's the therapist who has to create boundaries entirely depending on the needs of the patient (which may not coincide with 'wants'). Sometimes, though, I think therapists cannot (or have not) anticipated that it would cause a problem and this is where things escalate, and then the therapist imposes boundaries -rather late in the process and this causes a lot of pain.
I think good, stable boundaries are extremely important to any relationship and to people's well-being in general. In this sense, the boundaries of contact in therapy can be very beneficial as they may well help both short and long-term with IRL relationships. Seeking constant reassurance or depending on someone else to regulate one's emotions IRL relationships can end up pushing significant others/friends away (and/or cause other problems); in therapy this is unlikely to happen, so it's the perfect place to learn and practice.
How is someone's issues with boundaries and/or enmeshment going to be resolved if there is blurring of boundaries and/or enmeshment allowed or even encouraged in therapy? If this is a person's comfort zone, then it's not going to improve (either in therapy or IRL relationships) if it's not challenged somehow in therapy.
The problem I've seen sometimes, is that some therapists, due to *their own* issues, do not set boundaries, do not discourage enmeshment, when it is clearly needed. Some therapists have problems with boundaries and enmeshment themselves that they never resolved in their own therapy (if they've undergone therapy), so it ends up playing out in their relationships with their patients.
I think when a therapist's 'issues' coincide with a patient's 'issues' that's where things can really go awry. And then maybe the patient never resolves these issues, just like their therapist never did. Maybe moving towards resolving such things would actually be threatening to the therapist him/herself, in some ways.
In an ideal world, therapists would be required to do their own therapy, and a lot of it, and resolve major issues that might impede their patients' therapy. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world.
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