Hi Jes
I'm the adoptive father of a Romanian orphaned daughter who is now 21 so she was born in early 90s.
I completely relate to your issues as she was institutionalize s for 4.5 years before joining 'normal' western society.
Today she still has problems making friends as she is 'different' and I raised her on my own so understand her better than any psychologist. I haven't met a psychologist yet who really understands an institutionalised child. But that's the bad news.
The good news is that with a good diet and lots of love she has blossomed into a mainly well functioning member of society.
She still bed wets occasionally as I'm sure the orphanage simply let you guys defecate in your cot and washed it out with a hose. There were 70 kids per carer.
I haven't been just a father but a good friend to my daughter and this differentiated her from other orphans. We talk every second day and she lives with her boyfriend a days drive from me.
When she was young about 10 I started her on a diary to record everything in the day. She can't seem to emote in her diary simply record facts. But this has helped her focus and she loves the routine of reporting her day in a diary. Maybe she will write a book one day from it.
Her adaptive mother ( my ex) has written her off as she doesn't communicate. Out of sight out of mind is very prevalent. I call her to connect.
Holding a job is not difficult if you just focus on saving money in a bank to one day buy a property for yourself. My daughter is encouraged to dream, like you. Dream of that farm, that perfect partner, etc and then work towards that even if the boss tics you off.
The money is why you are there. Simple thing. Motto make friends or impress anyone. Just the money to buy the house. So if you keep it simple it may help you. Forget all the competitive stuff, achieving something stuff the average western society force down your throat. Just small steps each time when you have a nice goal.
You don't need a general approach or an 'accepted' approach. You are beautiful and different so be different and embrace it.
If you don't have a mentor like an an adoptive parent or romantic interest, feel free to chat here.
My daughter gets very rattled when her basic routine is shaken but she has had set goals of finding a partner with a good job, steady and understanding and she hunted him down and he has had to be very understanding of her over active joy in a physical sense, etc her goals are simple but set in stone for her, get a man, get a regular job, get educated ( power) get 2 kids of her own, get a small farm. And raise her kids.
When she arrived she rocked, was malnourished and spoke no English. She is 80% " normalized" for want of a better word. But it is a constant uphill battle for her. She asked me to explain to her bf about her background which has made him more supportive and understanding but she is desperate to be independent.
She also prefers animals to humans.... Do you?
Ok I'll stop now, hope this was slightly helpful.
TM
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