My dad had an affair a few years back. It tore my family apart. My grandma got so sick she almost died. My aunt wouldn't speak civilly to my dad for years. My mom almost had a nervous breakdown. My uncles and my siblings still have a hard time relating to him the way they used to before the affair. So do I.

It has only been in the past year that we've all begun to heal and forgive. Fortunately, my parents are back together, but I know that isn't always the case with affairs.

So much pain could have been avoided.

To echo the other posts, find someone to talk to. Get individual counseling. Get marriage counseling. Do what it takes to preserve your marriage. From what I've read, it sounds like you will.

Despite the pain (and I try to tell myself this all the time, but sometimes I don't listen), something good can come of this. You have the opportunity to make your marriage--and your family--stronger.

I wish you the best.

tugofwar