I did not intentionally try to manipulate anybody, but attention from a male coworker (not only no affair, but a very formal relationship in which the male coworker and I used "Sie" in talking with one another - "Sie" is the German equivalent of the old English "You" back then "thee, thou" were used, which signals respect and distance") which was made known to my then husband accidentally (then H befriended the male coworker whereas I myself stopped communicating with the male coworker) did result in almost 3 years of very passionate non-stop monogamous sex between then H and me, and although that was not enough to keep the marriage from disintegrating, it disintegrated for reasons that were non-sexual (well, the ex H said that he would not have sex with my anymore because his desire for me meant that I had power over him and he wanted to be free from any sort of power coming from me, which is a very weird way of thinking but it does make some sense if you accept that thinking can be weird).

But hey we did have three years of non-stop passionate sex - cannot be that bad, either.

The thing is... manipulation does not exist. Even when you say in the most open and straightforward fashion that you love somebody and want to be loved back, you are saying it trying to influence the other party at least to some extent, which can be defined as being manipulative. In other words, if we really really really want to stop manipulating, we should just shut up forever. And, the economy will come to a complete halt instantly - in business, people manipulate each other, except that it is called "influence". There are courses on "influencing without authority" - how to get what you need when you do not have formal authority (in a top-down fashion of traditional corporations) to tell other people what to do, and yet, still need to have them do that. I have never been to such courses, but they exist - people take them and companies often reimburse their expenses because influencing is considered a very important skill in matrix corporations (which, unlike traditional corporations, do not have the top-down structure). So, not childish - these courses are for adults. Typical behavior interview questions: how would you get another person do something he or she is not necessarily interested in doing? How do you work through conflict and misunderstanding? etc. Diplomacy, communication skills, building partnerships, developing shared goals, OR, DEMONSTRATING THAT DOING SOMETHING THE PERSON DOES NOT WANT TO DO IS ACTUALLY IN HIS OR HER BEST INTEREST, etc. etc. - some example answers.

A family is akin to a matrix corporation in that the husband does not have formal authority over the wife, nor does she have formal authority over him. They have some shared goals and, at the same time, experience some conflicts and diverging opinions on things that matter - pretty much like a matrix corporation.

The other female's feelings - I did attend to them earlier saying that the other female is a human too and is worthy respect afforded to humans by humans.