My apologies, these on-line forums, it's sometimes difficult to differentiate, at time.

The third book, may be of help. Don't have to have been a saint, to resolve the parent//adult child relationship, even if just internally.

I hear you, about not feeling the need to go there, where a deceased parent is involved. I still find, it useful, for myself, to work through any lingering feelings I have had around my mom. Granted, we cannot argue with a ghost, at the same time, I cannot just brush it aside because she is no longer here.

My dad, is still around, and I occasionally must deal with him and his wife.

Hope you are able to work through what you want to work through.