You are conflicted because humans tend to be conflicted.

There is nothing wrong with this.

It is a normal part of the complex experience of living.

You should stop thinking whether feeling whatever you are feeling is wrong of you.

Just stop right now and for the rest of your life.

Your feelings are valuable in and of themselves, and, in part, are there to inform your choices.

You need to learn to listen to your gut, observe and analyze your feelings, but not censor them.

The same applies to thoughts. Do not censor your thoughts.

I do not know what to advise with respect to the relationship, but with respect to your being at peace with yourself and enjoying life to the fullest, you clearly should stop censorship of feelings and thoughts asap.