It's painful for me to read this thread but I needed to. I wish I were in the category of being encouraged to email and have outside contact with my T like I was in the first year or so of therapy with her. But I'm not.

It seems like those who are allowed and encouraged to email don't have a problem with it, and don't even use it much. Then there are some who find it helpful to email and receive short responses from their T. Some can text or call or email their Ts because they don't abuse the privilege. Then there are those like me who want more contact but are discouraged because we need to work on separation, not attachment.

Emailing my T made the relationship too personal and informal. It's so hard to give that up. When T said it's best not to email her because of "the work" we're doing, that really stung. But looking at it positively, it may have meant that she enjoys my emails, and it's not that there's anything terrible about my emailing her, but in order for me to heal, and be able to go on with life without her, it's best that I don't have this extra contact. It hurts in a bad way even when I know it's for my own good.