I think you need to do this, however you make yourself get there by trick or by push---as you said you "need" to do this; and you will, it sounds, regret it if you do not. Remember everyone is an individual, and although you will be reminded, and you will be sad, sadness is not depression if expressed; she will still be your friend and not your mother. Having been there before, you could be a great support, even an advocate. As a nurse, I know that this is a particularly difficult disease to sit with at the end...and as someone who has lost people I know it is always better afterwards if you have done what you need to do.
Bring a bit of humor too...she's not dead yet. And we are all going that way...