Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton
Not sure if this applies to you or not, but since I have anxiety too, I thought it may be worth considering. Feel free to take it or leave it. 
I find that I often get frustrated with my therapy when I'm in a place where I need to make a change, rather than keep 'complaining' about the same thing. Eventually there's a point where talking about a problem isn't going to solve anything. Instead I have to take some sort of action. Like the house/clutter issue. Or marriage stuff.
T and I have noted that my defense mechanism to avoid making the change is to focus on some "crappy" aspect of my therapy, or to get really anxious about smaller things. |
I thought about it and posted in the Dear T thread. My T has this tone of voice when she says "but you don't want to leave him..." I think she wonders why in the world I stay with him, or if I made that decision, why do I keep complaining. Then she tells me how I can hire someone to help clean the house and the basement, and I tell her "I can't". So she is probably understandably frustrated with me.
This is a huge problem but my H makes me think it's MY fault. He's not going to go for couples counseling. We tried some of that and it doesn't help. He blames everything on my complaining and "being in love" with my Ts. But he just says about his hoarding/collecting/inability to throw things out that "I have a problem", but doesn't want to do anything about it. He doesn't answer about physical intimacy even when I ask him to please talk to the dr. about it. He's fine with the status quo of everything. I'm not. So maybe you're right. T triggers me with her advice and tone of voice. I feel very stuck. Add that on to having to separate from her. Plus my grandson's surgery next week. I just have to breathe and stop posting so much personal stuff. It helps to get this out and be heard, though.