I was excited about going to a friends small gathering this morning. It was going to be like five people I didn't know and some alcohol. I was going to be the odd one out and it was kind of freaking me out. I tried to smoke a little weed to sooth the anxiety but I couldn't smoke it, I felt disgusting and wrong and stupid so i threw the weed out. Then I just got so frustrated and just started hitting and throwing things around my house, and eating. Then I considered going to the gathering and getting drunk, but I knew I was the only one, so then I decided not to go, now I have nothing to look forward to.