toward the bottom of the page that loads from that link is a link to an article about forgiveness....here is an excerpt:
Quote:
I approach the subject of forgiveness from the perspective of someone (me) who believes in forgiveness, but also believes that marriage should be fair. Since, in many cases, forgiveness is unfair, what should be done? As you will see in my responses to the three letters I've chosen, I support just compensation for some marital offenses, so I don't always recommend forgiveness. It should be an encouragement to those of you who have been feeling guilty about being unable to forgive and forget. But, at the same time, it should also encourage offenders, because the compensation I propose will earn you a terrific marriage, and it won't hurt at all.
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In most cases, an offended spouse would be unwise to forgive the wayward spouse without just compensation. It's like forgiving a friend of the $10,000 he owes you, when it's actually in the friend's best interest to pay you in full because it would teach him how to be more responsible with money.
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You HAVE to go read that whole article. The "just compensation" is extreme, but it HAS to be. The affair was 4 years, which is also extreme! I love this article. Here is the direct link:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042_qa.html