Thank you for the replies.
I want to take it on board but I just can't convince myself to. I have nothing bad in my life and every teenager goes through tough feelings and I just don't believe that I can be anything other than pathetic and whiny. Except part of me believes something is wrong because I posted the question. I just don't know what's going on anymore. I'm really sorry, I know I'm just talking this around in circles but that is what my thought process does. I want to get help so bad but I feel like they'll either call me a freak or perhaps even scarier tell me it's normal. Normal seems good but if this is normal then I can't get help or treatment and It'll have to be like this forever. So I want to be okay but at the same time I kinda want to have a problem. Is that bad of me? It sounds like such an awful thing to say. I don't want to see a school counselor because I don't think we have a trained counselor and the only woman who does anything like it is the one that helps the children with special needs. I've nothing against those children but If I go to her I'll be bullied for it. Also she patronizes me all the time ( she works as an assistant in lessons too) . Sorry, I'm droning on.My final problem I have with going to her is that her daughter used to bully me. I know that people aren't their offspring but if by some miracle i got a proper trained session then I would not feel comfortable telling her about the past. I guess I could see one outside of school but wouldn't I have to see a GP first? I'm terrified of the doctors and would probably need to talk to someone just to persuade me to go there so I can get told to talk to some one. Did that make sense? I don't know. Anyway, thanks for the replies they were really helpful.