The depressive symptoms were there before the several days of drinking...part of that whole mixed episode that caused me to go back on meds. And my typical progression when going on meds is for the lithium to eventually even things out but often will result in leveling my moods out too low...so my mood will be more stable but stable and depressed. It's not unusual for me to have to add an AD into the routine, but until the mixed episode has completely subsided it isn't really safe to consider adding anything else in.

Thank you to everyone for the kind and supportive words. I apologize for being so negative and difficult. Waiting things out and feeling my mood slip lower and lower is a scary, frustrating thing. I hate feeling like this and I think I always have what is probably a somewhat irrational fear of what if I can't get out of the depression this time. And even if I try to have faith that it will improve, sometimes it can feel so unbearable and feel impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel.