I don't think that trying to avoid the pain of ending a long term relationship makes her vapid. Nor do I think she's on that path to war. I think she's doing everything within her power to avoid any type of confrontation that will bring it to a head, but instead hoping that he'll get the hint and leave her in peace. It's not a healthy mature way of dealing with the situation, but the fact that she's stewed with an issue for five years without cluing him into the fact that she's unhappy tells me that she doesn't have the tools to deal with this in a healthy mature way.

At the time my own relationship reached its breaking point, I thought that I'd made myself perfectly clear. I was sure that my husband just chose not to see what I was telling him verbally, physically, and emotionally. I can see now that he just didn't have a clue. Men and women truly do speak different languages.