hey i am trying to just get all this crap out of my head but i cant. i just feel so miserable about all of it .i am taking everything and making it all horrible in my head. the session before when everything was changed around when she said she was late getting me because she was on the phone with someone else .then she was cleaning the carpet and the phone ringing .again.probibly the person she was talking to calling back.then this last session when she was so caring about my friend .it confuses me.i don't want to care .it is getting me so angry at myself. who gives a crap if she doesn't care one iota about me ,right?? maybe she wants to start terminating me .feels i no longer need to see her.that she knows others need her more. i don't know how to accept any caring from her anyway so it is a huge waste of time and i bet she knows it. i don't feel anything i have to say to her is worth her time. i think she knows i will never be able to open up to her or fully trust her . stupid idiot i am .it is hard to see how she can be and probably could have been toward me if i was not such a dumb *** about it all. stop is right i probably would have freaked if she was like that toward me. not know what to do with it . it hate life.