I think you are all correct in this case. I do think she is purposely doing things to upset me just enough, but also being nice at the same time so it will look like she's trying. But not wearing the ring to me, does not qualify as trying.

I do monitor text activity as best as I can, I can see who she is texting via our phone provider's website but not read the messages themselves. The last time I asked, I found out that her and her mom had not told her Dad anything about what was going on - because they were afraid of him overreacting worrying about his grandkids, etc. - was waiting until a better time. With the grandmother dying this week, she has spent a lot of time with her family this week without me while I was working and getting the kids where they need to go. I have noticed today a very large increase in text activity with her Dad... so my suspicion is that he knows now, is panicking, and things may be coming to a head soon (for clarity sake - he has nothing against me, nor does her Mom, but he will protect her and would pay for the best lawyer around just to make sure she was protected properly). I do agree that she is waiting for me to make the call, which I have no intentions of doing until her surgery and recovery is over - unless I'm pushed over the edge.

Bracing myself... after my visit to an attorney yesterday, which she does NOT know about, I do feel a little more empowered and feel very good about my chances to get what I want out of it.