Heya

Sounds to me like this is two-fold. He's obviously worried, and doesn't realise that harping on about money is making you feel worthless, and then their is your own guilt or whatever which are making you feel like pants.

Have you sat him down and talked to him? Told him that you're trying, it takes time, but there's not a lot more you can do right now with the job? And try and tell him that he is probably not aware of it, but talking about money 90% of the time is making you feel awful. And I do think he may just not be aware of it and I also think that he may be a little down, feeling responsible for everything. I think he's got himself stuck in a rut with his way of thinking.

Chores can be more simply sorted out with a rota. Perhaps he will not presume he has to take on all of it when it's written down. Is your daughter is supportive of chores? Perhaps when he see's you both sticking to it, he may learn to let go a little of the reins.

I am also wondering if, if you do have a chat, that you could perhaps do something nice together as a couple or a family. As money is tight, something like a picnic? Even if you surprise him with one in the garden or a nearby park or something and show him that life isn't just about chores and bills.

Hugs