It sounds like as much as he stresses about being able to do it "all" he is a bit of a martyr about it, too? I'd relax in myself and try to do a little teasing of him when he gets into martyr mode? I'd reinforce some of his "pride" in doing it all; he did pick both his ex-wife who could support herself monetarily and did not and you who cannot but would be happy to help and seems to have the same attitude so it sounds to me like it is "him".

"You go, boy!"

I think it is natural for him to support all bus drivers; none of us want to consider we could be vulnerable to mistakes, etc. He identifies with bus drivers, he does not with parents, trolls, sales clerks, etc. It would be nice if he were able to be more impartial but, in a sense, you'd be asking him to support you instead of himself by agreeing a bus driver was at fault? Everyone has things like that they can't see and it can be frustrating when it is in our loved ones but I have chosen to either ignore or be amused/tender toward things like that in my husband. I know I say/exhibit some frustrating points of view over and over and I know my husband does not respond negatively; sometimes, too, what I see in others can be a problem I have with myself and not that big a deal overall.