I'm not meaning to give you crap or make you feel like I am giving you crap, little didgee

If you are not an "aspie" (we're talking about whether you identify with the name, not about whether you have Asperger's Syndrome) then it is like a schoolyard where the other person is desperate and not very good thinking up insults.

If you take "aspie" personally and identify with it and feel anything but affection for the nickname (ashamed when someone else calls you by that name) then you have a personal issue with being ashamed of yourself?

No, no one else should try to demean us but no one else can demean me if I know who I am and am glad I am Me. We can't control what others say or do but we can seek to know, balance, and center ourselves. If we are focused on ourselves, we can't also "care" about what the other person is doing if it is not helpful to us.