Blimey, you've written just how my other half was - and can still be.
And yeah, Hamster I think is spot on, there's two issues here. The email idea is great, and I wish I'd thought of it! My other half doesn't listen much to me, and he also swears blind he's told me something, even tho it may be he thought he told me. Annoying for sure, but I do not think this is a communication problem with you, more of a listening problem on his behalf.
And your small-talk stuff. Agreed again, this is an issue only if you think it is one, and/or want things to be different. I do get the impression with your wording that you get nervous, nerdy, and something stupid falls out. These are again the things my partner says. I think it's a self-esteem issue for sure. My partner went to therapy, and one thing said to him when he told her about how he lived in fear of saying something stupid, or that everyone is looking at him is 'who made you the center of the universe?'. It made him aware that people are not really looking, and those who do, so what? Same to be said about saying something stupid - most folk are not really even aware that something stupid was said, and probably care even less. People too may be reading your body language, and that will find it harder for people to approach you and then you feel worse? My partner used to be mute in a large crowd, arms closed over his chest and he looked very closed or a face like thunder (because he really didn't want to be there). This is hard to approach! I to draw him into conversations, look out for him knowing he felt nervous and that's helped a lot too. Does he help you out at all?
Hugs
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