We're in the Pacific Northwest of the US, and planning a little two-day stay in Vancouver, BC, Canada some time next month. I think that will break up the monotony for him.

Today he's working overtime, which is unfortunately necessary, because after all, money *is* tight. Daughter has moved in with us. She's 27 and also disabled with bipolar disorder, and has not been able to keep it together for herself. She's not quite stable yet, although better than she was, and is trying to get disability benefits. Right now she gets a very small amount of temporary state aid and food stamps, which is better than no income at all, which is what I have. Hubby is basically supporting all three of us, while we contribute what we can, she a tiny bit more financially.

Which means that, ex-wife and son taken into account, he's supporting the same number of people on basically the same level of income he was in his first marriage. Can't count the ex's earnings, since she never used it toward household needs. I'm sure my stepson did what he could when he was growing up, and hubby also tells me sometimes Grandma came over to help out because ex-wife didn't do her share. So he had a little bit of help then, but more routinely now. Surely he's figured out by now that we're willing to pitch in where needed. Instead of "thinking out loud" about everything *he* has to do, prompting me to assure him one of us will gladly do it, how about if he just asks us to do it? That's what I don't get. Unless it's force of habit.

Which reminds me. Earlier on in our marriage, he did used to ask me to do such routine jobs as washing the dishes or cleaning the litter boxes, things I do regularly whether asked or not. I used to take mild offense to that, wondering why he considered me so incompetent as a homemaker that he'd have to tell me to do those things, but then he gradually stopped telling me. On one occasion, after lunch, he asked me to please wipe the table afterward, *while I was walking toward the table with a wet rag in my hand!*

"Honey....."
(Sheepish) "I know. You would have done it anyway."
"Then why did you feel the need to ask me to?"
"I don't know. Maybe this cold [he had one] is short-circuiting my brain."

Then he kissed me on the forehead (didn't want to give me his cold) and left for work, after I playfully spanked him on the rear and told him to quit worrying and trust me. We both took that as a humorous moment.

The post was interrupted with his check-in call. He does that every day that he works. Two or three times, if he can squeeze it in. I assured him things were getting done. I've started the second load of laundry. Daughter mowed our postage-stamp sized back yard. Homeowner's association takes care of the front. I'm taking the car out for an oil change (he's got his pickup truck) and daughter will vacuum while I'm away doing that. When I come home, I had worked out with daughter that if she mowed and vacuumed, I'd take care of the back yard weeds.

So that's all of the chores he assumed *he* was going to have to do besides working overtime. Maybe that chore list is a good idea for future weekends. If he has it in his head who's going to do what, whether or not he's working that day, maybe he can rest easier.