I would say you were possibly in recovery and now those thoughts have crept back in. I am not sure if one can be "cured" of an ED. I think we can be in recovery and not be acting on the thoughts or behaviors, and then we could also be actively engaged in our ED. Is there any way you can start seeing a nutritionist if you aren't already? They can help you get on a meal plan that is right for you to lose the weight in a healthy manor.