Absolutely true. I did catch that. What I'm trying to say is, I don't need to be asked to do routine jobs I do every day whether asked or not. Most homemakers do those little tasks as a matter of course, don't they? What kind of homemaker has to be asked to wash the dishes after a meal? I assumed he'd stopped asking me to do the dishes because he caught on that they would get done even if he didn't ask. But if it's a job that isn't done every day, one that he is accustomed to doing himself, he is welcome ask me if I can do that. "Can" is the operative word here, not "will," since my capabilities can vary with my health.

Back from the oil change to find that daughter has not yet vacuumed. There are several possible reasons. She seems to be having a bad day and is barely responding to my attempts at speaking to her. She didn't even return my "see you later" when I left to do the oil change; just kept staring at the television. She could be still adjusting to her medication. I take hydroxyzine too, as needed, while she takes it daily, and I know it can knock a person out at first. It's also hot in here because our part of the country doesn't generally have air-conditioned homes, and we're going through something of a heat wave. Not as bad as the rest of the country. We usually aren't. But for us, it's pretty hot. Maybe she's still worn out from mowing earlier. Hubby works afternoons into evenings and will be home around 10:30 PM tonight. Currently it's 6:45. As long as it's done before he's home, I'm not worried. I'm waiting until about sunset to do the weeding, so I won't overheat, myself.

To show I love him, I also paid for a car wash out of my own pocket, something that he hadn't mentioned needing to be done, but it did.

Again the post was interrupted by a check-in call from work. He's on his lunch break and had more time than just a stopover at the end of a route. We just had a loooooong talk about finances and household chores, in which I actively participated and complimented his expertise at financial management. I filled him in on my employment goals, which he now understands better, and he made it clear he was in no way trying to communicate to me, "Get up off your @$$ and get a job!"

He was very pleased about the car wash, as he had forgotten to mention it but was planning to do that some time this weekend. Now he doesn't have to. Turns out he had also washed his truck on the way to work. He offered to repay me for what I spent. I told him he didn't have to; it's my car too. We worked it out that he can give me back half of it and consider it a joint expenditure. He's very happy that he won't have a thing to do when he comes home tonight, and he can just relax until Monday.

Per your suggestion, riot, I brought up the subject of his asking me to do things, and how he's welcome to ask if I can help with something that doesn't get done every day, so he doesn't feel obligated to do that himself.

The funniest part of the conversation was when I asked if he's feeling less stressed now that everything is getting done, and instead of answering yes or no, he went into a long-range budget plan, talking about mortgages and retirement. I again complimented his ability to manage finances, "but I asked if you're feeling less stressed now." He said he is, a little bit. I think that's the best I can expect.

Thanks for the help, all.