Welcome to PC, as well as the Bipolar forum,
The behaviour you mentioned is unfortunately not uncommon to Bipolar disorder.
This is one of several reasons why one should get professional help, medications, especially a mood stabilizer, combined with some talk therapy, and patient compliancy can work wonders.
Bipolar is not like a death sentence, may not be a total cure, but there are various courses of treatment that can help keep you on an even keel.
This destructive behaviour, many times is a way of getting away from the horrible dread, depression. Abuse of dtrugs and/or alcohol, to do so, is referred to as "self-medicating", may be a short term relief but long term complications and delay of proper treatment. I hope by you dropping in here and talking to the others, will give you some insight and support.
I, myself, find that coming here, to be supportive as well as a place that I've found many friends.
Take care now and never give up hope, I know that may be hard to do during our darkest of hours, but believe me with treatment and compliancy you can get through this.
Bless you,
DE

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