Just a thought.......are you seeing a T for your the selective mutism that you were dealing with before?.......there may be some tie in between why you were dealing with that & why you are now dealing with disordered eating? Definitely something you need to talk with a T about.....& see if they can't help you process the WHY?

I really got angry at the ED treatment center because they tried to force the idea that I had a body image problem.....which was something I didn't have & really never had.....yes, I didn't want to gain weight as my mother had....but honestly, I could see myself in the proper perspective.....bur for me, the trigger is major stress.

Growing up, even minor stress caused me to loose weight...but not until major stresses hit at the age of 43 & then again at 53 did the anorexia really set in both times.

It's really important to go back to where it's coming from & work with a T to help you get past it so that you won't be haunted with a serious ED later on in your life.

There are wonderful professionals out there to help. I wasn't so lucky to find any at the time I was struggling.....but there are wonderful professionals that specialize in ED's & it's better to get the problem under control now than later.

I know for me always when I started loosing weight it would almost become addictive to see just how much I could loose each time I got on the scales.....even though I knew I was too thin at the end....that feel of always wanting to loose more & more......that saying "if a little is good, a lot is even better"......definitely NOT true with weight loss....but it definitely feels that way when you get into the loosing pattern....don't know why that addictive feeling hits....maybe it has to do with control....or who knows.....each person has their own individual thoughts & reasoning they really need to figure out.....that is what is so hard with ED's because there is usually so much background & usually traumatic situations that a person has experienced that sometimes don't even remember that is really underneath the ED from even before it becomes an actual ED......that is why therapy & processing the WHY is so very important.