You made some good points and I do agree.. But.. always that but.. anyway the last thing on my mind is heroism when I am in a store and my hands start shaking for no reason and when panic attacks overpower me. Or when I tend to always be looking behind me to see who is there.. Seems anyone as in "authority figures" tend to send me hiding and fearful. Or when going to a restaurant I always have to be by the door and windows.. I don't know why windows are so important.. I do know the door is an escape...

Guess there is some healing in some ways.. I think "anger" is touching me. I think I read somewhere "anger" is a stage of healing...

I am trying to sort of to find a positive from my history.. Thinks my past has only contributed to my becoming a people pleaser as it is safer... Am slowing coming out of that tho and slowly but surely learning that I do have boundries. I can say "no" when I am feeling strong. That I have rights.. I can bite back too...

I understand "survivor" in the long run can be a positive. Just at this point in my life, the word survivor means pain. Maybe pain I need to face. Maybe it hurts too much to face..Maybe somewhere I was taught that feeling pain is weakness. I am not sure.. My head gets all weird when I even try to go there.. So for now, guess my anger is holding me up....

I guess everyone has in one way or another "survived" some horrendous ordeal in their life. Learning to deal and cope with it is maybe the key.. Something I yet need to learn...

Anyway you have made some great points. Good Post