I got in trouble with my T once, she was saying she was empathetic and I told her she didn't sound very empathetic and we had a discussion that was interesting. Apparently empathy is a feeling, not something one shows (interest, concern, etc. one shows). T was miffed because she is the only one who is able to say what she is feeling.

It sounds like when T is away and we don't feel connected? If T isn't talking about us when we are talking to her and she sounds kind, it's like wondering who's behind you that she's talking to? I know sometimes when my husband and I kiss, he's looking over my shoulder (it's funny looking and I tease him about it, like he's looking for someone else when just the two of us are there); it's hard for me to learn to broaden my scope, to see a larger picture, experience something personally but imagine the bigger picture where I'm only a part.