(((( granite ))))
I think a lot of the feelings that you're having are perfectly normal and understandable. I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up for feeling them. I too get jealous when T talks about other clients or shows empathy for others - especially in group T. There are times when he's talking to someone in a caring way, and I end up turning my head away from him because it hurts to even look at him. I'm sure there are times when he's empathetic towards me as well, it's just hard to recognize because my own feelings, anxiety, etc. get in the way.
((( HUGS )))