Hammy I can't agree with everything you said but a lot of it I do. I also believe it's passive aggressive to do such things as to deliberately not wear a wedding ring when she has been told directly that it is hurtful to Haunted, attempting (in a rather weak fashion albeit) to distance him from her family when she knows from their years together he is fond of them...probably other things as well, if Haunted thought back on it, all clearly to avoid any kind of conflict yet still wounding. It's more that she's angry, I believe, than hurt, and probably stems from her original hurt, but I have to say, since she has gotten so much reasurrance from so many others of her position being somewhat, if not totally, irrational at this late date..I do believe there is something far deeper motivating her. Something she may not even realize, or have consciously admitted.

In any case, Haunted did the right thing by seeking out an attorney. He might also want to revisit therapy for himself, so he can learn to adapt to any possible new circumstance he may soon find himself. And the making her jealous thing....bad idea. Trust is trust. If he wants to make her jealous on the off chance it might bring her back to the marriage then he has to do it AFTER he's LEGALLY separated or better yet, divorced. Otherwise, passive aggressive or not, in her eyes he will just be a hypcocrite and a cheat. And that, I guarentee, she WON'T get over.

Good luck Haunted...I know my passive aggressives...they are very hard to lose, and even harder to walk away from.