I think there are different levels of grief that you feel , I have lost many family members and friends.. the lose of one grandmother hit me harder then the lose of the other same holds for my grandfathers, aunts , uncles and friends . I was closer to the ones I felt less grief for then I was for the grandmother I couldn't let go of.
maybe it is in the ways they/we move on to the next plane of existence ?
If it is fast and unexpected or was there a long illness , giving us time to prepare for them leaving...... I lost my wife 46 weeks ago , it happened very fast not feeling well to a diagnosis to surgery to high hopes to death in less then two weeks time.
her lose is the hardest of all , my love for her is very strong , we were very close.
so the pain of losing her is still unbearable...... on top of being depressed befor I find it near impossible to cope ...