You have to look at both sides of "critical". Saying mean things is critical but I think I want my T to be a critical thinker, to think things through to get at the heart of them? Critical also means "necessary". Being mean is never necessary :-) You cannot be more/less a careless person, there's really no such thing that we do not define? If I think you are careful and you think you are careless, which of us is "right"? Probably neither of us because I don't know you well and you are too negatively critical of yourself

The work you do is the work you want to do. Calling yourself names doesn't help you do that work and, wanting to do that work well for yourself, why would you suddenly become sloppy? Something looks good to you or it doesn't; how well it is done isn't a function of "making" yourself do it well?

Well, your mom can't leave her life and never come back but you can leave her life and not come back if you want! She does not have to go, you are free to. It's your life to live.