well i broke it off with my sister in law. it wasnt easy for either of us. i hurt just looking at her. my head is on fire wiith emotions i havent ever dealt with in my whole life. i keep finding myself wishing for a new life. something anything i dont even know at this point. i cant think straight and feel even more helpless and useless. i just wish it would all go away go back to normal. i keep asking myself why this is happening to me. did i do something should i have done something else.

i am sorry for the rant i just really needed to get it out. i just feel so bad about everything at this point.