And I think that article is written by a hugely conflict avoidant person, or someone who refuses to accommodate the needs of her partner and thinks other people should do the same. My H and I have both been able to receive feedback about what the other person NEEDS to feel safe and loved and we have both been making adjustments. For instance, he needs me to give feedback in a way that does not make him feel pressured or stupid for not seeing what I needed before I said it. The MC pointed out that touch is a huge strength for H and I, and we touch in a loving way even when we're upset at each other, if the other person shows pain or fear. MC suggested I touch H in a loving way BEFORE telling him something I need or that something he is doing hurts me. Just that one small adjustment by me has made a huge difference in our relationship. It's not about changing who the other person IS; it's about thinking of your partner and trying to meet his or her needs without losing yourself in the process.