I keep spiraling into depression....it's horrible. And there's not even much here to distract me from it, because I'm staying at my gma's for a week, where "chill" is the norm.

Also, I keep finding myself trapped in the paradox of "I really want her to buy me food (free food for me!), but then I'll feel obligated to eat it but I CAN'T ****ING EAT ANYTHING YOU'RE FAT ENOUGH ALREADY."

Ugh.