What kept me going for years was the knowledge in my own heart that God would have vengeance on them.... His judgement was all that mattered to me because for me it was the worst punishment imaginable in my mind.... to burn in hell for eternity... and thats what I looked forward to concerning my father....

When he had a heart attack and was near death, i was indifferent to it. All that I cared about was wether or not he was going to heaven or hell. he survived it and believed he had laid eyes on God so he was so changed that he tried to do what he could to make up for his mistakes.

By the time he did pass away 3 years later, I was at peace with the idea of him going to heaven and that was a huge step in my healing.

Don't beat yourself up over the way you feel...its normal for you to be this angry... just be careful it doesn't consume you....

swallow you up so deep that you can't find your way out and you become bitter for the rest of your life because then they win...You deserve to enjoy your life...

Hang in there...