Welcome to PC.. you have made the first step in getting better. You have nothing to be ashamed of... and i agree that an assessment is a good idea and talking openly about all of this with your boyfriend is a good idea too...

Its good that he is in counseling with you because it shows he loves you. Alot of men won't go to counseling.. so be open and honest. He can't help you if you don't be...and you can't help him help you either...

It doesn't have to be this way.. there is hope...check into assistance programs in your area to see if you qualify for help so you can be treated....Have you told the counselor you and your Bf are seeing?

You did a good job of expressing yourself BTW... and the more you talk, the better you will feel... so post all you can... people here care and do listen....

Stay strong..