Susana,

It appears that you are more towards the lesbian side.

However, to truly know, you should drop having any expectations. Until you drop having any expectations and preconceptions, your experiment in self-analysis (you presented it very well) is incomplete and, as such, not truly valid.

This is because you fell in love with women AGAINST YOUR WILL and experienced very intense feelings. It is possible that the forbidden aspect of your relationships with women caused the intensity. In other words, you did not want to fall in love with women, but did nonetheless, and felt intensity.

If you allow yourself to fall in love with either gender (allow - in your mind, that is), then you will remove the "forbidden" aspect, and THEN you will be able to truly assess where you stand on the spectrum of sexuality. But you need to remove the forbidden factor as it taints the results of your experiment in self-analysis. You need to just allow yourself to experience life and those various feelings it brings with it as they come, without judging them against some sort of a standard that you hold in your mind.