I'm still a wreck this morning. My husband is just not happy. I swear I think he hates me deep down. He told me he's hurt that I complained about him, that he is all alone in the world. He didn't want to hear what I ad to say. I know he had a troubled childhood, its quite sad actually. He talked to me for the first time yesterday morning about it. I felt a connection to him and I really felt for him. He has been through a lot. He has been angry for a few years. Maybe it's all related to his past. I'm not sure. But there are times when we can be so happy and other times we are miserable. Things have gotten worse between us since the argument with my mom.
He has no compassion for me with that situation. He said to me this morning that I would be happy if he kissed my *** and made up with my mother. I said you have it all wrong. I want us healthy, I want you happy. Yes, I want things back the way they were. I want my family back too, but we come first. It's no use. He is just stewing in his mind.
I am an absolute mess. I don't know how to handle my life. I really don't know how to handle my husband. I mean I don't know how to make things better. I feel so exhausted, so mentally exhausted. I don't know how to fix things. I just feel like everything is falling apart around me. He had the power to help ease my pain. I can't do it alone anymore.
I really don't know why he ever married me.