Sometimes things are there and we don't see them. Personally, it's like I have nowhere to put my T caring for me. I repeatedly miss his attempts to connect with me. It's like I'm blind to his empathy. My childhood experiences have created this shroud that stops me seeing my T as he really is.

Others have said this too. And I can't help wondering if it might be the case for you. My T says it's a tragedy not of my making or his, and I would say the same to you. That maybe you just can't experience your T caring - but that doesn't mean the empathy isn't there.

I also wonder if you think empathy is somehow a finite resource and if your T expresses it towards someone else it means they have less for you? But could you conceive of the fact that your T is showing empathy towards someone in your life, someone you care about, so it's actually a part of your T caring for you?