Only time will tell if you really changed or if it is just a reaction to the divorce papers. Hopefully, you really did have a life changing event. At least you are working on getting some insite to your actions and reactions to situations. One big thing is have you stopped drinking. That would be a big move in the right direction. I hope whether you get divorced or not you continue to work on yourself. I you will be happier in the long run. Good luck whatever happens.
Gayle