Here's my take on all of this. It all comes down to the transfer of POWER.

This is true in SO many different situations. This is just one example.

If the use of the label "Aspie", if it is used to differentiate someone for the sake of clarity in a discussion, or as badge of honor, or in any way that DOESN'T transfer power, or ATTEMPT to transfer power, from one person to another person, then it is OK.

If on the other hand, it is used in a way that either overtly OR covertly attempting to transfer power from one person to another, then it is NOT ok.

This idea that Perna makes of it all being in how the recipient reacts to it is great for self esteem and reflection, but it completely ignores JUSTICE. If someone is trying to take power from someone by using it as a derogatory, by all means don't let it bother you! If it does, then they will get even more power from you than what they stole already!

But the mere fact of calling someone a name takes power from them in the mind of the perpetrator. Whether you think so or not. It is an evil on their part.

Don't give them any more power than they have already taken. And strive for justice.

If you are using the term in a non-power grabbing way, then it is fine. But just like the "N" word in rap music, the mere use of the word keeps it in circulation, and makes it available to those that would use it for power grabbing.

In my opinion, anyways.