My name is Bri, and I'm 19 years old. Over a course of 14 months (Christmas Eve '06 to Valentine's Day '08), I lost my grandfather, my grandmother, and my mother. I have depression, bipolar disorder, and alcohol problems. I recently lost my boyfriend and my job, and I don't have many friends or anywhere else to turn. I've come to this forum (and have tried going to a couple others) because I know I need help for of the way I'm feeling. The last time I felt like this, I nearly killed myself and wound up in a hospital. I need help now, but I'm not actively suicidal anymore, so I'm afraid that it's not enough of a crisis to call a hotline.